Too Much of a Good Thing?
Do you remember pre Covid-19 when you dreamed of working from home or having your spouse work from home? Do you remember when you thought it would be so wonderful to have more time with your family or you thought it would just be so great to have your spouse home more to help support you with the parenting load.
We’ve been living the “new normal” for a little while now. How would you say it is going? Has working from home been everything you dreamed it would be? Some of you might be thinking, “It was great to begin with but you know what they say about having too much of a good thing.”
Working from home had been a dream of mine. I envisioned a time that I would be more available for Sarah and when I would have more time with my family. As I prayed about future goals for our family, this became a prayer of mine. Sarah and I have had the privilege of both of us working from home for the last eight years. She homeschooled the boys, while I worked in my office.
What started out as bliss became “too much of a good thing” at times. One common scenario looked like this. Sarah would finally get the boys focused and I would come out with a work related question or asking her to review an email. I didn’t see the big deal because in my mind it would only take five minutes to answer the question. In her mind it was a huge deal because she had just spent the last half an hour getting them to focus and it would take her another hour to regain the boys’ focus.
In order for working at home to work and for the dream to not become a nightmare, we had to establish boundaries and set up a system for handling the different things that came up throughout the day that we needed each other’s input on.
Some of you might be finding yourselves having this same struggle. You’re not used to having this much time together and your routines are not working like they used to. You might find yourself dwelling on those little, or maybe not so little, irritations that come up throughout the day.
Here are four tips to help this extra family time to not become too much of a good thing:
Talk about it with your spouse. Don’t lash out about it but calmly communicate the point of tension. Sarah was able to share with me how my interruptions were impacting the school day with the kids and we were able to develop a plan. As a side note, if both you and your spouse are reading this, be prepared for your spouse to talk to you. Be safe and loving. Don’t become defensive. Take responsibility and work with your spouse to develop a plan.
When you focus on the negative, it is easy to only see the negative. Take captive those little annoyances about your spouse, remember that they are the same person you fell in love with however many years ago, and don’t think about those things.
Choose to think about the positives of your spouse and make a list.
Share one thing with your spouse that you appreciate about them.
It has been eight years since we began working at home together. We have each grown in so many ways. There are still days where we struggle but those are fewer and our marriage is stronger.
Written by Jonathan McGuire
