Just Get Over It
Do you know what words have never helped anyone get over their hurt, their pain and their grief? This phrase right here…“Just get over it.” Yet this is a phrase I have repeatedly heard others say to parents who are grieving the loss of a dream of a typical childhood and the challenges their child will face growing up.
Wouldn’t it be nice if in the midst of your grief, you could flip a switch and say, “I’m over it.” I will never grieve this again. Life is good and I have completely healed.
However, that is not the case for many parents who have a child impacted by special needs. Sure, there will be periods where the grief subsides and the parent is able to dream a new dream and appreciate the incredible person that their child is but then there will be other moments when grief rears its head again and floors us. The grief is chronic.
Just get over it? How do I just get over it?
My son cut his leg this week while on a bike ride. What if I told him to just get over it and go on with his day? There would have been stones, dirt and grease from the bike chain left in the cut. What would have happened next? If left the way it was, the cut would have attracted flies and eventually become infected.
The reality is if I choose to just get over it, I am choosing to ignore it and just bury the pain. If I bury the pain, it will become “infected” and it will come back. It will come back as anger, resentment, health issues, sin issues and the list goes on.
When my son cut his leg, instead of telling him to “just get over it”, I listened to him. I let him share from his perspective what happened and then he washed off his leg.
Some of you may find yourself at this point of grieving. If you do, be assured that it does not mean that you love your child any less.
Healing takes time and we all heal at different rates. That is why a husband and wife can experience the same event but be in different places emotionally.
If you find yourself in this place of grief, I would encourage you to take a look at the Psalms and laments. It may even be helpful for you to write your own lament. If you find yourself stuck in this place of grieving, it may be time to meet with a counselor so you can get that listening ear.
But whatever you do….don’t “just get over it” because you won’t.
Written by Jonathan McGuire
