Beyond Labels: Seeing the Beauty in EVERY Child

Do you ever feel like your child is looked down on because of their disability or special need?

In the world, you often see a differentiation between the “haves” and the “have nots.” Those in sports are esteemed more highly than the shelf stocker at Walmart. The advice of those with the largest following on social media or YouTube is more sought after than the grandfather or grandmother up the street.

Sadly, this can even be true at churches. I hear of many parents on this journey in special needs walking through the church doors looking for community and eventually walking away because they are made to feel like their child is a burden. Congregation members treated their child as less than and not really valued.

If this is your story, I’m sorry. This Easter season, I want to assure you that God does not see your son or daughter as less than.

Here are 5 ways that we can see this in the Bible. 

1. Your child is created in God's image

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

This verse reminds us that every person, including those with special needs, is created in God's image and is therefore uniquely valuable and important in God's eyes.

 

2. God sees beyond physical limitations

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”

– 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV

While human beings often focus on physical appearances and abilities, God looks at the heart. He sees beyond a person's disabilities to their true character and potential.

3. God sees my child's struggles and cares for them

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to see my child struggle with challenges or disabilities. But I take comfort in knowing that God sees their struggles and cares for them deeply. God is close to those who are brokenhearted, and I believe that He is with my child every step of the way.

4. We are all equal in Christ

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” – Galatians 3:28 (NIV)

In this passage we can see that in Christ, there is no distinction between people based on their race, gender, or social status. This includes people with disabilities, who are equal members of the body of Christ. God values each person equally and desires for us to love and accept one another just as Christ has loved and accepted us (John 13:34-35).

5. God has given your child a unique gift or talent to share with the world

"Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." - 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)

This verse reminds us that every person, including those with special needs, has unique gifts and talents that can be used to make a positive impact on the world. By valuing and nurturing these gifts, we can help our children to realize their full potential and make a positive difference in the world around them.

This Easter season, as we celebrate the death and resurrection of our savior, I want to encourage you that not only does our heavenly father know and love you. In the same way, He fully loves your son or daughter. He does not view them as a burden or less than.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

~ Isaiah 40:11 (NIV)

Written by Jonathan McGuire

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Jonathan McGuire  is the dad of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that guides the beat up, battered, and worn out parents of children impacted by disabilities and special needs through the spiritual and emotional challenges they face to Christ-centered hope and healing.

Celebrating Easter with 7 Sensory Friendly Ideas

What was Easter like for you growing up?

 I remember waking up Easter morning and going to church. Spring was in its beginning stages and there was a general excitement in the air as we celebrated Christ’s resurrection. The church would be stuffed to capacity with families sitting shoulder to shoulder in the pews. After church we would make our way to various family reunions, where we would laugh, play games and eat too much food.

Now for many of us as parents of children impacted by disabilities and special needs, Easter celebrations look a bit different. The idea of sitting in a cramped pew and the normal Sunday morning church routine having been thrown out the window sends chills up our back, as we all know change can be difficult.

Navigating family get togethers can give us a sense of dread and the idea of doing a community Easter Egg Hunt may be laughable.

So how do we make Easter a true celebration and communicate its significance to our little ones?

Here are 7 ideas that you can try at home.

1. Easter-themed scavenger hunt: Create an Easter-themed scavenger hunt with clues that relate to the story of Easter. For example, the first clue could be "Find the palm branch that people waved when Jesus entered Jerusalem" and the next clue could be hidden with a palm branch. If you want a little help with this, check out these resurrection easter eggs.

2. Easter Story Sensory Bin: Create a sensory bin or tray filled with materials that relate to the Easter story, such as miniature palm branches or palm leaves, rocks, and a small tomb. Your child can explore the materials with their hands and feel the different textures while you talk about the story of Easter.

3. Visual aids: Use picture books, illustrations, or even videos to help your child understand the Easter story. You could also create a visual schedule or social story to help your child understand what will happen during Easter celebrations. One possible picture book that your child might enjoy is:

   "The Tale of Three Trees" by Angela Elwell Hunt - This touching story follows three trees as they each become part of Jesus' life and ministry, teaching children about the power of faith and sacrifice.

4. Music and movement: Sing Easter songs or play music that relates to the story of Easter, such as "Jesus Loves Me" or "This Little Light of Mine." You could also use simple movements or gestures to help your child understand the story, such as pretending to wave palm branches or holding your arms outstretched like Jesus on the cross.

5. Role-play: Use props or costumes to act out the Easter story with your child. For example, use a toy donkey to represent Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, or use a blanket and pillow to create a tomb for Jesus. This can help your child understand the story in a more interactive and engaging way.

6. Resurrection garden: Create a miniature garden with your child to represent the Easter story. Use a small planter, soil, grass seed, and miniature figures to represent Jesus, the tomb, and the women who discovered the empty tomb.

7. Easter movie night: Watch an Easter-themed movie or cartoon with your child, such as "The Prince of Egypt" or "VeggieTales: An Easter Carol." Afterward, talk about the story and its meaning, and encourage your child to ask questions.

So which one of these do you think you will try? Let me know in the comments.

"But Jesus called the children to him and said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these,'" (Luke 18:16 NIV).

Written by Jonathan McGuire

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Jonathan McGuire  is the dad of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that guides the beat up, battered, and worn out parents of children impacted by disabilities and special needs through the spiritual and emotional challenges they face to Christ-centered hope and healing.

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Mama Warriors

You know the old joke where you put a sticky note on someone’s back with a message and they walk around ignorant with others secretly laughing at them? As missionaries for 18 years, there have been many times we’ve had a target painted right on our back – by Satan. A few times, when things got unusually bad, I felt that target stuck there and took it off through prayer, prayer, more prayer, praise, thanksgiving, and faith.

Unfortunately, more often I ignorantly went on with my life, pushing forward as a wife, mom, caregiver, missionary, striving to make headway and often having it sabotaged. When you know that sticky note is there, it can be easy to take off. When you don’t realize it’s there you go on ignorantly struggling against all the wrong things.

I'm grateful for Naomi Brubaker and her insights on spiritual warfare . It's real. Yes, it can be over-hyped. But that doesn't make the fact that it is a reality in some instances any less real. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. I’ve often been more guilty of being naïve to the influence and reality that Satan and his minions have in my life, family’s lives, and our circumstances and then I didn’t counter his influence.

If that’s true of you, I’d encourage you to spend some time praying for insight into areas of your life where Satan may have a stronghold or influence and then praying for God’s protection over your lives and booting Satan out. You’ll likely have to do that repeatedly in different areas, different ways, different times and circumstances. He is not a gentleman. Just because you told him to get lost doesn’t mean he’ll never try attacking again. If you’ve claimed Jesus as your Savior, you have the upper hand. Satan can attack (just ask Job) but you can counter and win through prayer!

Prayers that win spiritual battles include some or all of these:

1.     Praise – of God and who He is (SO POWERFUL!)

2.     Thanksgiving – to God for what He has done and good things He has given

3.     Truth:

a.     Acknowledging the reality of sin or wrong thinking in your life

b.     Standing in the truth of the Word of God and countering lies with it

4.     Faith – in God, who He is, His power, His authority, your standing, rights and authority in Him

5.     Word of God – it is your sharpest sword and is what Jesus used against Satan’s temptations in the wilderness. Read it, speak it, pray it! 

Lastly, if aren’t making headway or gaining victory on your own, and haven’t already, ask others to stand and battle with you in prayer! Sometimes it takes an army.

Let’s be mamas who stand up and fight for ourselves, for our husbands, for our kids, for our families, for our friends! We have powerful weapons, we just need to wield them!

Written by Sarah McGuire

Sarah McGuire is the Mom of two boys and co-founder of Hope Anew, a nonprofit that guides parents to Christ-centered hope and healing. You can follow Hope Anew on Facebook here.

Hold On Tight

If I could go back in time to those days before his birth, and have a chat with my pregnant self,  I would tell myself this about the parenting journey I was bound for:

1. It will be different than what you are imagining.

2. You will know, but not quite understand, the moment that you lock eyes that first day.

3. You will also instantly know that you are his person.

4. You are strong enough to rise to the occasion. 

5. You were meant for it, and you’ve got this.

6. God will lead you. Hold on to Him tightly.

7. Stop yourself the very first time you read what other babies his age are doing and your stomach drops, because he isn’t doing it yet. Just rock in that glider and stare into those beautiful brown eyes.

8. If you google that missed milestone one time or a million times, and get lost in your mind with worry, that will do nothing to change the outcome. Instead look at how intently he is listening to your voice as you read Goodnight Moon in his sailboat nursery. The worry is useless, and the outcome is not anything to fear.

9. When he begins to roll his toy cars in such a way that you feel it is less play and more some type of visual stim, a word you won’t learn for a few years yet, think about how happy he looks.  Make note of these things, but don’t fret. Instead, choose to enjoy the smile on his sweet little toddler face.

10. When you notice incredible skills happening far too soon in comparison to others, just marvel in it. Don’t read every article written about it, wondering why or what it means that he can do it.  Your nights will be far better off spent sleeping while you still can.

11. At a certain point there will be no sleep, so grab every wink.

12. When the sleep gets hard, you will manage. 

13. In case you already forgot number 4, you are strong and capable.  

14. Your child is also strong and unimaginably capable. Perhaps the strongest, most resilient person you’ve ever known. You’ll see.

15. When he struggles to sit quietly on the mat at library story time, just go to the park instead. 

16. When he runs from you and others say things like, “He’ll come back, just call his name.”, trust your gut and RUN.  He’s not coming back.

17. Start looking for the angels sent to meet him on his path. They are truly everywhere you turn. You will be amazed. He will recognize them right away.

18. You will see him form the most enduring bonds with these people.

19. Don’t waste a moment’s thought on those not meant for him.  He will recognize them, too.  

20. He will have some difficulties, yes.  Who among us is granted a life without them? Focus on the many triumphs instead. 

21. He will be completely misunderstood, as will you. Ignore this. Make no apologies and overlook the judgement of others. Live these days focused on the audience of your one heavenly Father.

22. He will also be completely embraced and accepted. It will bring glee and immense gratitude to your heart each time.

23. You. Will. Be. Enough. Don’t question that fact, but know that your faith, family and dear friends will also carry you when you need them.

24. Begin this prayer immediately. Pray for God to lead you.  Tell Him that you’re listening and ready to follow his plans for your little boy.

25. Walk next to your son, hand in hand, through it all.

26. You’ll learn soon that he’s come here to teach others things like compassion and empathy and humanity.  He’ll teach them some about fonts and logos, as well, but that won’t make sense to you for a couple of years. 

27. Your baby is perfect. One day when he is 8, he will look into your eyes and plain as day, give you every answer you’ve been searching for.  His self-awareness and self-acceptance will put your mind at ease in an instant and bring a calm to what at times will feel stormy.  It will be one of those beautiful moments in life that you want to capture, that you want to freeze inside of. 

28. Always remember that this is his life to live. He was sent here with a unique purpose just as you were. Remind yourself of that in the times when you feel like you must find all of the answers.  

29. You will grow through this time.  Your heart will grow. Your empathy will grow. Your heart’s desire to help other children will grow even bigger than it already was, and now with an entirely different level of understanding.

30. Lastly, it will all be okay.  I promise.  It will be better than okay.  His life will be amazing and full and happy and fun and he will know the abundant love of his adoring Mother.

Written by BreAnn Tassone

BreAnn is a wife and mother to two beloved children.  Her 8 year old son is twice exceptional and has been diagnosed with PANS/PANDAS, and her 3 year old daughter is his most incredible advocate.  They both bring joy to this world in their own individual ways. BreAnn lives with her family in central Virginia.  She is a former Special Education teacher and serves as a volunteer at her church within the special needs ministry.  She is a homeschooler and coordinates groups and events within her community to support the childhood experience of her neighbors and friends. It is her conviction that all children benefit when all children are included, accepted and can live this life learning from and supporting each other.

"Status Quo"

The phrase “status quo” has popped up a few times recently in conversations and in things I have been reading, which got me thinking about my feelings regarding things being “status quo” or not.  Status quo is used to describe a normal state of affairs, not bad, not good, but mostly unchanging.  When people describe their life as in a state of status quo, it’s describing their normal.  Although this sense of normalcy has dramatically shifted over the past 12+months and settled into a new place and feels like globally is shifting once again.  This idea of things feeling like they may be in a state of status quo hit with a stinging reality as I reflected on my life.  What would the status quo look like for me? What would the simplicity of a day to day routine that felt very much normal be? What would it be like to not be navigating the ups and downs of crisis but just moving through the normalcy of life?  Maybe, status quo is not fantastic, but maybe it is not filled with as many curve balls as my life feels like it has. 

I have heard it said that Jesus came to disrupt the status quo.  I can see this in the way he gave most of his attention to people who were not regarded as important.  You see this further in his disruption of religious laws that became the focus of worship rather than God.  And who the Jews expected to be the messiah, was not Jesus.  They expected a powerful ruler, not a baby born in a manger.  I think the feeling like things are not status quo is ok.  I think navigating the change and up’s and down’s of life that don’t feel routine or normal are ok too.  It’s how we respond to these unsettling circumstances that are important.  It feels like this is what I signed up for, things not ever being normal as we serve and trust God more.  

As we continue to navigate life that feels disrupted by circumstances, family, children, jobs or joblessness and more here are a few big picture thoughts to come back to:

Let GOD be GOD- Many times I remind myself “You have faith in God for a reason, let Him be in this with you.”  We must remember who is in control ultimately and not try to sabotage what God is doing in us and through us.  Don’t let fear take away from the growing that God is doing in these times that feel upside down, but actually pull closer to God and ask him to show you more clearly the purpose. The familiar story from the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke of when Jesus calms the storm is a good reminder of the vast power and control the Lord has over everything. 

Jesus  replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” Matthew 8:26-27

Keep moving forward- The tendency to let fear to hold us in a state of indecision can be problematic.  Keeping momentum even when things are not what we had hoped is important.  Every morning before school, my girls pick out a mantra from a list we heard about from Big Life Kids.  Many mornings these simple statements the girls pick for themselves stick in my mind as I go through the day. Two common statements chosen are “ My imperfect action is better than no action at all” and “I have grit and I won’t quit.”.  These simple statements remind all of us to move forward through the hard and continue on.  Building a mindset of positive, forward motion through the things that don’t feel normal is healthy.  

The Lord encourages us as he encouraged Joshua to keep moving forward and lead the Israelites into the promised land - “Be strong and courageous, do not lose hope, for the Lord your God is with you.”Joshua 1:9

Be generous-  The idea of generosity can be molded into many different domains of our time, resources, words, etc, but in the end- the act of giving ends up returning some vital things when we are in a season of chaos.  A few of the benefits of generosity noted in the Pyshalive article are that generosity improves our sense of purpose, deepens relationships and connections, and reduces stress.  All of these benefits are what we are looking for when we are seeking a sense of status quo that we can not find.  In these circumstances where we feel like the bottom is falling out we must remember where our heart is rooted.  

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21

It feels like most days my family is living our life on the edge and I don’t think we are that unusual in those feelings.  We have weathered unexpected changes, and detours and sit in the present place trying to put the pieces in order to make sense looking ahead.  Looking behind us feels like a trail of wreckage that we call our life.  The only thing keeping us together is that we are graciously provided what we need for today. When I feel like my life is moving towards chaos, I remind myself of what is true and practice the things that bring me back to my root system of our loving God.

Written by Naomie Brubaker

Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2.  Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder.  Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church.  Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church.  Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has. 

Adventures In Faith

What feels like a very long time ago, I was in a unique situation.  It was an opportunity for me to be used by God as a means to bring peace and comfort to a whole family without me even realizing it.  My husband and I were traveling to visit my grandparents in Florida. We were leaving from our small Richmond airport.  We always look around for people we may know or recognize even when in larger airports, because you never know who else is on the go.  I did not recognize anyone around our terminal, but recognized a very familiar sound.  I turned to my husband and said, “That’s J!”.  He was surprised that I could recognize a child by the sounds and his voice in this busy airport. 

I spotted them in the terminal seating area and went over to introduce myself. I taught at this boy’s small private school for kids with autism in another classroom. The whole family was traveling to Florida for an experimental trial and then of course Disney.  They were nervous and so was J.  I could tell by the sounds he was making that he was teetering on the edge of a meltdown in the middle of the airport.  I feared what a small space of the airplane would feel like for him.  I told the family that if they needed any help while on the plane to come find me and I gave them my seat/row number.  

We all boarded the plane, J and his family were close to the front on the plane, while my husband and I were towards the back.  Not long after taking off, the seatbelt light clicked off and almost immediately J’s sister was at my row.  Out of breath, she quickly said, “Were you serious about helping us?”  I kindly said “Yes” and left my husband to see how I could be of any support to this family.  When I got to J’s row, his mom was sitting next to him trying to calm him down.  The look of panic was replaced with relief when she saw me standing there willing to help.  She simply said “I just don’t know what to do.”  I told her it was totally fine and she could sit with my husband if she wanted to during the flight.  She passed over the reins of her intricate boy and bag of goldfish and breathed a timid breath as she walked back to my old seat.  

J and I settled in for an exciting 2 hour ride to the Orlando airport.  I used lots of distraction techniques to help him stay seated in the small confines of his seat.  I helped him use the tiny bathroom with the VERY loud toilet and wash his hands in a sink unlike any he had used before.  We ordered drinks and snacks and talked about what it was like to be in the clouds.  There were moments when I thought I was going to have a bad situation on my hands, and then we recovered into a safe space.  It really tested my ability to remain calm and loving to him in this environment packed with people.  We landed in Florida and got off the plane and we all reunited in the terminal space, me with my husband and J with his family.  They asked when my return flight was so we could travel together on the way back.  It felt so good to be able to care for this family during the stress of traveling.  It is a plane ride I will never forget.  

I am so proud of this family’s bravery to ask for help.  There are so many times I am hesitant to ask for help because I don’t want my own weakness exposed, especially when it comes to my parenting. 2 Corinthians 12:19 says exactly this- "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. “

I honor this family's ability to recognize their needs and their limits while still stepping out of their comfort zone to travel and stretch themselves. 

Psalm 16:5-6 says, “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup,  you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” God has given us limits for our good and we must recognize and honor them. 

This family trusted God would provide and they trusted me, a complete stranger.  This trust allowed them to widen the circle of care not only for their son, but for their whole family.  They kept their eyes open to what God’s provision would look like and acted when they needed. The family stuck together and supported each other in this challenging circumstance.  Rather than blaming or feeling guilty, they celebrated the fact they could receive help.  

Now as a mother, traveling feels as exhausting as it must have for this family…it feels scary too.  Will I be able to provide for the needs of my family when we step away from our systems, structure, predictability and comforts of our home?  The answer is unfortunately “no”, I will not be able to provide and protect as I typically do, but God will. Not only that, leaving the comfort zone and relying on God brings growth, family unity and adventure. 

So, plan for God to step in where you know you will not be enough and be ready when He brings unlikely answers to your needs.

Written by Naomi Brubaker

Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2.  Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder.  Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church.  Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church.  Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has. 

The Hour

There has always been a time of day in which things seem to be extra hard.  The volume on the emotions are turned up high. It comes as predictably as clockwork each day.  As much as I try to prepare myself for this time, or just embrace it, I can't change the course of that time of day.  It’s in these moments of the day that I begin to question my every ability to do the simple, most innate things for myself and my family.  The morning after a particularly challenging evening, I found myself in the Walmart parking lot writing down the words of this poem.

THE HOUR

5:00- World is collapsing in on itself.

Can I multiply myself to cover all the needs? 

Put out the fires?

5:03-The worst parts of all of us

are sneaking out.

Quickly colliding.

5:13- Need to cook dinner, 

Recipe is too complicated.

Just can’t.

I think I forgot to buy the ingredients, or were they eaten?

I yell.

Get it together.

5:18-Second grade math homework.

The chaos clouds her mind.

She makes the same mistakes.

We do this everyday.

Why does it continue like this?

She’s refusing.

I’m at a loss, 

Be patient.

There’s not enough of me,

I’m withering inside.

Why can I not calm this part of the day?

5:23- Frustration welling up.

They are all fighting.

Now crying.

Lord, surround us.

Don’t even mention the needs of the dog.

5:30- Husband should be home,

No, he said he was working late.

Can’t do this.

I need to change the course we are on.

5:37- Don’t think this will help but- “Pandora play hymns”.

Sing even though you don’t know the words.

Sing even though it doesn't feel like you deserve this.

Dinner is leftovers.

It’s fine.

Turn up the volume on the music.

5:45 -Give someone a hug

Apologize for losing my patience, 

losing my mind.

5:50- Homework finished, incredibly.

Please set the table. 

I still need help. 

We can do this together better.

6:00- Daughter says the dinner prayer.

“Thank you God for my family, 

Did she hear me yelling?

For this delicious meal, 

It’s leftovers from last night!

My friends.

Yes, we need to feel accepted.

Keep us safe and healthy.

I can do this, we made it.

Amen.”

Hope.

Coincidence, I think not, that this poem was scratched down on the back of a piece of paper outlining St. Ignatius Loyola's Examen.  It is a method of prayerfully looking at your day and seeking to find God in it.  So in the company of the Holy Spirit we are invited to become aware of God’s presence and look back on the events of our day with gratitude. The mess of happy, confusing, fun, disappointing, ugly, beautiful moments that made up the day.  We are encouraged to become aware of God’s presence and movement in our emotions.  This is an opportunity for God to point out where we may have fallen short.  We then pick one moment of the day and pray through it with the Holy Spirit.  This could be a positive moment or negative moment, monumental or insignificant.  Allow the prayer to arise from your heart and push you to praise, repent, or ask for guidance. And finally, look forward to tomorrow. Ask God to go before you in tomorrow’s challenges and be a light.  Be aware of your feelings and offer them to God and pray for hope.  

The Lord’s love surrounds those who trust him.  -Psalm 32:10

Be joyful because you have hope.  Be patient when trouble comes.  Pray at all times. -Romans 12:12

Written by Naomi Brubaker

Naomi is a mom of 3 girls ages 7, 5, and 2.  Her oldest daughter is diagnosed with ADHD and a visual processing disorder.  Her family lives in Richmond Virginia where Naomi leads the special needs ministry at their church.  Her background in special education and ability to understand parents from her experiences with her daughter give her a unique perspective in her role at the church.  Naomi loves to run, sew and take walks with her husband with any free time she has.